Monday, April 6, 2009


Do you ever feel like your the whirlwind of your life has suddenly stopped, and all you are left with is silence and your thoughts?

Now that my life seems to be going back on track, a new band, more hours at work, I somehow still look for holes to fill.

And my friendship with Andrew is now becoming a hole. I thought things would go back to normal with us after we had talked it out. Maybe that whole conversation we had where we decided everything was okay was the result of wishful thinking. Because I feel like things have changed. I can't just call Andrew without it seeming like I'm calling him because I have feelings for him. And he hasn't called me but once, to return my call yesterday telling him about the band. And I was in band practice, so unfortunately I didn't pick up. I tried calling him back tonight, but no luck.

And Facebook has once again proved it's evil, allowing me to find out information that I didn't want to know: Andrew doesn't think he will be making it to Montreal this summer (which means he isn't coming). He had talked to be before about possibly visiting, and I guess now he has put that on hold. I see that he is putting his girlfriend first. I understand that that is what he has to do for now, but I wish it weren't so. I wish it was the way it was before in so many ways, before I brought about this new wave of shittiness. And above all, I hope that things don't stay like this for too long... or forever.

To distract me from all the loneliness and holes, I have been receiving past-midnight Saturday night phone calls from this guy Percy, who I had a one-night stand with around October. The morning after we slept together, I realised that it wouldn't be going anywhere because I wasn't interested in my sober state. Luckily, he didn't call me for about a month, so I figured it was mutual. Instead, he suddenly started calling me sporadically, always really late on Saturday nights. Excuse me, but how insulting is that? The only time you ever hear from a guy after fucking them is on Saturday nights when they are drunk at a bar? I never even picked up, instead got a trail of loud, inaudible messages from the chap over the months. 

So this Saturday night, he called me again. (Didn't get the message after I didn't answer or return his calls the first 5 times.) So instead of hoping he would stop calling, I decided to pick up and give him a piece of my mind. I answer the phone, and get this, I can't even hear what the fucker is saying, and he can't hear me because wherever his drunking escapade is taking place is too loud. So at this point, I am livid. So I decide to end this once and for all.

I text him: "Yo. The only times I hear from you is late on Saturday nights. I don't appreciate or want that shit. You're ruining a good memory."

He responds: "Oook well im sorry i just wanted to see you again but just didnt no if u wanted watever its ok......... goodnight."

Cold-hearted-bitch me, didn't respond.

Percy: "Watever im sorry."

Me: "It's okay. Goodnight."

Percy: "But if anytime ur free would you like to do something? in all seriousness?"

And once again, I didn't respond.
If you are somehow confused as to my anger at this blubbering idiot, please listen and learn:
If you want to see a girl again, you call her in a sober state, when the sun is still shining, somewhere inside 2 weeks of sleeping together. You don't wait until you're drunk, horny, and expect her to be in the mood to plan a nice 2nd date. Women are not stupid, I am not stupid, and all that kind of behaviour says to me is, I.Only.Want.You.For.Sex.And.I.Forget.About.You.All.Week.Until.I.Am.Too.Drunk.To.Even.Get.I

So fuck you, Percy. I don't have time for immaturity.

And fuck you, Andrew. That's right, I said it. For not loving me back, for being whipped by your Oatmeal-Personality girlfriend, for not calling me anymore. I don't care if my anger is irrational, I am just so annoyed by the way things turned out. More than annoyed. It really upsets me to the core, that our friendship is changing for the worst.


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